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Trust. Something I've always had major issues with. Always afraid of opening up. Afraid of sharing my feelings and issues with others. Afraid that they will not be able to keep it to themselves.
I not too long ago conquered my fear. Was able to share my inner most thoughts and feelings and fears with those I realized I could in fact trust. A select few. And you know what I gained from doing so? A lesson: you can really trust no one.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm too considerate. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Maybe I'm too unrealistic. Too unselfish. Too understanding. Too... But is it REALLY too much for me to ask (and expect) that you keep what I share with you TO YOURSELVES?? I don't think so.
"But I needed to talk about it with someone."
Bullshit. And did that person HAVE to be someone who KNEW me?? Let's see...If I WANTED them to know certain things, do you not think I'd tell them myself??
Now. Not only has this happened once...it's happened twice. By two of the people I trusted most. The people who straight out told me I could trust them. Who convinced me to open up. And they didn't even have the guts to tell me that they had told these other people (but only because they had to talk to someone about it....of course....).
"Hey, (*insert betrayer #2's name here*), does X know about my situation?"
"Why do you ask?" (instant sign of guilt)
"Because I want to know"
pause pause pause
"Well, I won't lie to you...she does know. I had to talk to someone about it....She's actually gone through something similar..."
OH!! Well, then it's SO alright now.
DOES ANYONE ELSE NOT SEE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS?????????? Because neither of them seem to. And I am sure they never will. Fume all you want.