2003-04-21 - My Trip To New Yawrk


So, this holiday weekend I went on a wee trip to Elmira, New York. We went to watch the boys bro play in a playoff hockey game. He scored, their team won. It was all very exciting. Along the way driving through hicktown after sticktown to finally get to pucktown I made some notes of things that needed making fun of (cause that's what I do best).

1. I saw my first ever (in person) trailer park. And I'm not talking a "mobile home park". I'm talking the kind you see on that show "The Trailer Park Boys". Dirty, filty, worth their life savings of about $15.00.

2. I saw my first ever frat house, decked out with the alpha betta gramma carved in the bricks above the door. See, here in Canada, we make fun of fraternities and sororities. I've only ever seen them in movies.

3. I can not get over the number of American flags I saw. Nearly every second house had one. Yes, pride is great. But I really have to laugh when the house is a cardboard box and they make sure they have their brand new flag on the gold plated flag pole out front. Here we show our pride with every second car driving around with an Ottawa Senators car flag on our passenger window (Go Sens!). Canada, schmanada.

4. At the hockey game, I could have bet you 10 bucks (heck, a hundred) that you could not find a non-caucasian person in the stands in 30 seconds, and won hands down.

5. The game itself was interesting. A very strange feeling to be one of only about 20 people of 3500 cheering for a team (it was an away game for the boys bro team...closer to Ontario that Indiana where he plays normally). We sat amongst the puck bunnies holding babies or their prenant bellies, talking about where they got their hi-lights done, etc. Barf.

6. There were 4 girl and 4 boy menonites, I guess out on a "date" (anyone see that Oprah show on them?!). Not sure...do they have to pay the parking meter for their horse and buggy? The boys sat there and sort of clapped during the game and the girls had no idea what to do. It was fun to watch. When the song YMCA came on, one of the girls actually did the movements...not hands above the head, just in front of her, only her hands moving from the wrist up. Boogie DOWN! In the second period, they gave a seat prize...$500 to the person in section X, row X, seat X. Guess who won? Mmmhmm. One of the girls. Gee maw, now we can get new rims for them there rickety wooden buggy tires. Yeah. And maybe a nicer wardrobe.

7. I saw a live bait vending machine, a drive-thru pharmacy (if you need them that bad, should you really be driving??), and more rednecks in sweatpants with big hair and missing teeth than you could imagine.

All in all. Good times. Good times. Yee haw, New Yawrk. Ya'll come back real soon ya hear?!